He is Worthy

I have been reminded this past week of God's power and control over everything in creation. While sometimes situations can overwhelm us and make us feel like He is absent in our lives and not in control, it's important to remember that God is LORD. He is King, Sovereign over all, Creator, Sustainer, Life Giver, and worthy of all of our praise. So instead of asking why or questioning His goodness based on uncomfortable moments, I am called to worship Him. Even when I am struggling to see His faithfulness because I am not seeing instant results, or immediate yes' to my prayers, I am called to worship Him.

It's easy to worship when things are going smoothly and when God feels ever present and near. It's a whole other level of seemingly insanity to worship a God that is allowing the waves to crash down on the little life boat that carries you (and your tiny Micro-Premie daughter). However, he has not let that life boat sink, and continues to carry our little family. So even thought it doesn’t always seem like God is working or near, I can trust that He is working because I know him to be faithful, and His word tells me that He works things for the good of those who love Him. While this doesn’t guarantee anything in this life, or make the reality of life less chaotic/scary, it does give me peace to know He’s got this, because I sure don’t!

So in the uncertainties that each day brings, I will continue to worship him. To give Him all the praise that He deserves, to glorify Him through the storm, to worship Him even when things don't make sense. Because He is Worthy! And trust that He has what’s best for all three of us in store, because He loves us.

Now for those uncertainties I was talking about! Grace has had some consistently stable days, where her body continues to function, by all accounts, very well. But she also has a lot of unknowns around her brain and the damage that appears to have been caused by bleeding.

This week she has actually been switched to a CPAP oxygen machine instead of being intubated with the Jet machine. This is very encouraging as it means her lungs are doing well, and the CPAP now allows her to breath on her own while also offering the oxygen support her tiny lungs need. She has also started a steroid medication that she inhales into her lungs 3 times a day, which will help reduce inflammation and damage that has been caused by the oxygen support she requires.

Grace has also gotten her Picc line removed removed as she has now finished her antibiotics! However the dictate keeping an eye on her kidney functions as the antibiotics for her UTI can cause problems. They noticed an influx in her sodium levels, so they have stopped her sodium supplements and have added water to her feeds to try and dilute it a bit. They will monitor this continuously to make sure everything is working properly.

Her feeds have also gone up to 9.8ml every 2 hours in hopes that she will gain weight faster. The goal is for her to get to 800grams so she can go to Sick Kids for a procedure to drain the fluid that is building in her brain. There is an ultrasound being done today (Monday) to assess things and to see where her brain and fluid pressure is at. We will know more once the doctors come and talk with us. Until then we just continue wait and to soak in as much time with Grace as possible; trying to hold her at least once a day, give her hand hugs during handling to calm her down, do diaper changes, and read/talk to her so she can hear our voices.

I will update once we know what the plan is in regards to Sick Kids and her head.